One of the greatest misconceptions about Christianity, as a whole, is that we live in a world of regime and discipline, not allowed to make and create our own decisions. And for a large part, I can see why- conversations with God at the center of them in the public eye routinely make it seem like we are under a dictatorship, rather than active in a relationship.
I sit on the eve of meeting you, and I’m at a loss for words. Speechless to the growth and knowledge and pain and triumph that has happened leading up to you. There is not enough time in the world to explain to you all that has happened this past year- but maybe there is to tell you a bit of what I’ve learned.
It seems like just yesterday that I was sitting on the eve of my Apprenticeship at The Way beginning. Full of nerves, unsettlement, doubts, and excitement. Who would I meet? What would I learn? How would I get along with the other Apprentices? Would I know enough? Would God meet me there, and move in a way I’d never experienced? Luckily for me, He met me exactly where I was, and then some.
Recently, one of my mentors asked me to sit and take some time with Jesus and let him determine my season. We as humans are so quick to label ourselves by societal standards, and she wanted me to take some time and allow him to name me, rather than me name myself.
I used to think that emptiness was something that needed to be combated at every second of the day. Feeling empty? Shoot someone a text. Feeling empty? Go out with friends. Feeling empty? Flip on the TV and fit into that narrative. Emptiness feels scary, unless you have dealt with it before. Or, at least, know where to turn when you feel it.
The act of Silence + Solitude is a tricky beast, and one that I’ve been struggling with the past ~ 7 days. While it wasn’t easy, the uncomfortable has rooted me in the fact that it is oh-so-necessary to be able to thrive in this world. I realized quickly that the more uncomfortable you are in S+S, the more you need it. And boy, do I have the highest need of all.
Whether you are an introvert or extrovert, you more than likely have an immediate gut reaction (either positive or negative) to the words, “Silence and solitude.” For all of us introverts, that sounds like a breath of life in a world where alone time is far more filling than crowded get-together’s. For extroverts, that might be your worst nightmare.